It was just a matter of time until a post about People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (appropriately tagged as “wingnuts”, joining some fine company alongside articles regarding the Westboro Baptist Church) finally appeared on our quiet little blog. What took so long? While PETA has flirted with the entertainment industry before, this is their first incursion into videogame territory - in more ways than one.

It started with Samba de Amigo, one of the delightful little oddities which sprang-up during Sega’s Dreamcast era. Like a few other franchises from those days (Jet Set Radio still not one of them, much to continued annoyance), the anthropomorphic corpse of Samba has recently been exhumed and given new life on the otherwise safe and pedestrian Nintendo Wii.

Like many of the Sega’s experiments with the bizarre, no one really noticed aside from the old hardcore gamers… or folks like me, who still have Gunner’s Arsenal jerseys with Dreamcast sponsorship hanging in our closets. Oh, and PETA, who have somehow mistaken the title for some kind of virtual animal abuse. To the dismay of reasonable human beings everywhere, Sega caved to PETA’s demand to pull advertising. They received chocolates for their compliance. Vegan, of course. Probably carob.

As if the incident with Samba de Amigo wasn’t ridiculous enough, the upright citizens at PETA have now turned their eye towards Majesco’s Cooking Mama, which they have parodied in the form of a flash game. The goal is to convince Majesco to develop an entirely-vegetarian edition of their cutesy chef simulator - even offering to help promote it.

I have to wonder: if it weren’t for the virtual nature of the “offending” material, would PETA be taking such an outwardly-cordial approach in this case? Afterall, it’s exceedingly difficult to splash buckets of fake blood on a collection of pixels and polygons.

I can only assume that the conspiracy theorists referenced in the last news post were actually correct and that the regular staff of Caffeine-Fueled have all been taken hostage by a surgically grafted combination of Ann Coulter and Sarah Palin hence my appearance here.

So, in really international news from our old friends, the Bay Bay Say, the son of notable terrorist Osama Bin Laden, Omar Bin Laden, has been undergoing something of a world-wide tour as of late. One of his 19 sons, Omar has denounced al-Qaeda and his father numerous times in the past and so has applied for asylum in a number of nations, claiming his denouncement of terrorism has put his life in danger in the Middle East.

Living in Egypt, where he married a British woman, Zaina Alsabah Bin Laden (formerly Jane Felix-Browne), and later applied for the right to live in Britain with his wife, his application was denied, prompting much accussations back and forth. Later, the two took a plane to Morocco and during a stop over in Madrid, Spain, made a request for asylum there. This was eventually denied as the Spanish authorities claimed they had no reason to believe Omar’s life was in any great danger.

Returning to Egypt, the two were barred from there as well, astonishingly, although the reasons why have yet to be revealed. However, the couple were then deported to Qatar, where Omar Bin Laden should be allowed to stay, due to his Saudi Arabian nationality. So, for now, at least, it seems like the peaceful Bin Laden family have a place to live but it’s still in the Middle East which was where Omar was trying to leave in the first place.

The controversey, such as it is, is the question of whether Omar, a metals dealer by day, is being unfairly discriminated against, despite his calls for peace, because he is the son of Osama Bin Laden. Will Omar, and his wife, settle down in Qatar, one of the more progressive Middle East nations (and one in which there is no tax)? Or will this international bouncing around continue in the future? Well, let’s wait and see.

Conspiracy theorists around the world mourn today as one of their most cherished theories, that the US elections are rigged and can only be won by rich white men, is dealt a mortal wound by Barack Obama. Well in excess of the 270 electoral votes needed to become President of the United States of America, Obama has become the first minority leader of the most powerful country in the world.

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10:29 PM: Hello, internet! Some of you may be celebrating Obama’s victory, but not all of us are feeling very happy. Specifically, some of us are terribly unimpressed with California’s proposition 8, which if passed will overturn the right of gay people to marry. I’m queerer than a three-dollar bill so even though I live in Canada this makes me pretty sad. Tonight I’ve been following the results on CNN, which haven’t been good so far (currently 53% in favor with 31% of stations reporting), and quite honestly it makes me want to either drink or cry. And since only one of those things is amusing to other people, I’m asking you to follow me as I drink and report on the status of ballot measure 8.

10:41 PM: Starting up with a rum and coke! I’m a slow typer so it’s only going down the hatch now. No change in the percentage.

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West: “How is Senator Obama not being a Marxist if he intends to spread the wealth around?”
Biden: “Are you joking? Is this a joke?”
West: “No.”
Biden: “Is that a real question?”
West: “That’s a real question.”
Biden: *laughs*

So who exactly is this Barbara West character? Well kids, when she’s not recycling the Hannity/O’Reilly/Limbaugh arsenal of neocon smears on WFTV-9 in Orlando (that storied bastion of political commentary), she’s busy playing wife to Mr. Wade West, a GOP Media Consultant. Shocking!

Of course, WFTV has denied any wrongdoing in the matter, which just reenforces the eight year-old notion that “conflict of interest” doesn’t mean a whole lot in Florida. Hit the jump for the video. [Read more]